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I'm a DIRTY robot!

I am deadly serious about us having fun

Mellzah Dildarian
External Services:
  • teh_dirty_robot@livejournal.com
A short ode to Mellzah by elisel:
She walks in awesome, like the night
Her eyes glow like twin moons
Burning with robotic wrath
Yea, she is full of awesome
As a dog's mouth is full
Of bees.

Teh--A way of showing a juvenile excitment towards the subject matter. Originally a misspelling of 'the' but also adds a childish tone to the word, and puts across a more innocent feel to the subject. Has the ability to turn nearly any word into a noun. Saying TEH, even ironically, is a horrible thing to do. It's like wearing a fursuit and yiffing a dog. Exe. "OMG! You are teh WINNAR!!!11oneone"

Dirty --vile; mean; sordid; contemptible: to play a dirty trick on someone. obscene; pornographic; lewd: a dirty joke. not fair or sportsmanlike; unscrupulous: a dirty fighter. hostile, insulting, contemptuous, or resentful: She gave me a dirty look. Producing a relatively large amount of radioactive fallout. Stormy; squally: It looks dirty to windward.

Robot --A noun by which the adjective 'awesome' is implied.

A haiku for Mellzah by bellachiara6:
roboty goodness
little riddle in a box
delightfully cute

"Mellzah is one of the funniest people I've ever known, somebody whose entries frequently make me spit whatever I'm drinking all over the screen. She uses this talent to tell great stories and provide snarky commentary on whatever is annoying her at the moment. She also seems to be a magnet for weird people in general, which is bad for her psyche but great as fodder for stories. Loves her mischievous dog Napoleon. And as an extra side bonus, she's a hottie. :)"-dslartoo

"But she exists...teh_dirty_robot is real...even if she vanished like an urban legend into the night."-darkkatpouncing

The birth of a robot is actually a very misunderstood thing. It's not commonly documented. You see, a very simple robot — not unlike a gelatinous credit card — is suspended in a carbon-rich gel inside something that looks like a small hot water bottle. This casing is slid into a moisture-proof dual-flap bay in the mother and left for five days. Birthing robots have typically escaped cameras, but some grainy footage does exist of them squatting in corners, facing away from the lens, gently sliding the casing back out of themselves.

Some day when I'm a famous actor, I will elucidate such horror and primal screams of fear and agony that the director will be awestruck and ask me "how did you manage that?" and I will tell him: "Twas Mellzah."-shadowstitch

User Number: 2670330
Date Created:03-30-04
Number of Posts: 1,843

teh_dirty_robot is your overcaffeinated robot overlord, and you'd damn well better start paying tribute lest your insolence catch her attention!
Strengths: Titanium Armor +5
Whipcracking +9
Beerguzzling +8
Cthulhu Lore +4
Weaknesses: Whenever in an instance containing Johnny Depp, all rolls pertaining to resolve will be at -3.
Special Skills: Can use feminine robotic wiles to achieve goals pertaining to world domination, except in instances pertaining to Johnny Depp.
Weapons: Whipcrack of Seduction
Taser of Justice
Motto: Bow before the might of Mellzah, meatbags!

"You have passed the test, Mellzah. As the Vice President of Wedgie Operations for the Northwest Seaboard, I commend your attitude and desire to see wedgies carried out without remorse."-entropic_system

shadowstitch"You're like.... a little golem fueled by sin."

mrsamedi-"We were Lab Partners in college and she was constantly pushing the boundaries of science. I tried to warn her that contacting the netherworld was a terrible idea, and prone to backlash. However she continued her nefarious experiments and caused an explosion which horribly scarred my face. To this day I wake up every morning vowing revenge on that horrible woman. DO NOT HIRE."

bellachiara6-"I greatly enjoy you and your... everything. You really know how to make a girl feel better. And I can give you five reasons why you are great:
1- Fleshy thighs
2- Dainty feet
3- Excellent make up application skills
4- You are the Prince of Snark
5- Your dog is pretty cute"

"dude you grab life by the effing balls and I love that about you. you seem to have fun with everything you do (at a cranberry museum?! really?!) and that fun that you carry with you is infectious."-thisiserika

"And I especially love teh_dirty_robot who is a bucket of steaming, hot awesome. Fuck that girl is the best ever. I would be lost without that girl. I fucking love her so much."-girlpirate

Ode to Mellzah by emmadilemmanema:
my dirtiest of robotic mechanisms
oh how i love thee
like the fog rolling into the bay
like chocolate raspberry cake
like good old fashion porn music
(none of that new techno shit either)

"Who's the best mellzah in the united states?
It's you, mellzah-dellzah, it's you!

alt.nerd.obsessive, alucard, ancient egypt, arrrdor inc, bad movies, batboy, batman, beer, boozeohol, cartooning, cephalopods, china mieville, classic games, competitive eating, costume parties, costumes, couture, crack heads with wigs, cthulhu, cthulhumas, cyberpunk, dave mckean, david garrett, dead hookers, dick smith, doppelgangers, drag queens, eater x, eating brains, evolution, freak magnets, funny mustaches, gasmasks, geeks, giant goldfish, gitaroo man, glamour, green bay packers, guinness, guitars, h.p. lovecraft, halloween, hating coldplay, hilarious injury stories, indulging in guilty pleasures, james spader, john waters, johnny depp, karaoke, leather nuns, lemur headed dark gods, livejournal interests: serious business, lost skeleton of cadavra, makeup, matthew gray gubler, mortal kombat, neil gaiman, nerdcore, nick cave, ninjas, one handsome sheep, painting, paranormal activities, parody, penn jillette, photography, pink flamingos, pirate robots, pirates, porn, project dance, reno 911, robot pirates, robots, roland deschain, sewing, shemar moore, shu fa, smashing pumpkins, smurf dancing, special fx makeup, stand up comedy, stephen king, subliminal poetry, sweet sweet robot lovin', tai chi sword, tall ships, the barrel, the dark tower, the future robot apocalypse, the mutton chop area, the nintendo blowjob, the ocean, tin robots, tom savini, trash culture, turbo jam, unconventional musicians, unicorn giggles, vampire hunter d, video games, wooden boats, world domination, yoshitaka amano, zombie porn,